aging india

My friend lost her husband, and opted to live alone in a rambling house with a large garden.

“I feel unsafe at night,” she told me, I hear noises. I think it is thieves.”

“Don’t you have a watchman?”  I asked.

“Yes,” she replied, “he is even older than I am!”

That explained a great deal. She was already seventy five.

“ I felt so much safer when my husband was alive!”

He was older than her, could not see well or hear and walked unsteadily with a walking stick. I suppose by holding on to the wall he could hit an intruder with the walking stick?

“I think you should get professional security, and a dog. The dog will take a year to grow up so you should get a watchman in the interim.”

She took my advice and approached several professional security agencies. Finally she settled on one run by a very enterprising woman. “I only employ ex-service men. They are very disciplined.”

My friend was happy to deal with her. She related to everything she said and made suitable sympathetic noises.

The first watchman had teeth missing from half his mouth and a terrible squint. Most of the time my friend did not know where he was looking.

I went over to have a look at him. He looked fit and muscular, walked briskly and could hear well. He was prompt too. Arrived on the dot of six and did a twelve hour shift.

My friend said, ”does he look like leering at us?”

“No,” I said confidently, “that is his squint.”

Her son came from Germany, had a look at the arrnagements and decided that she needed security cameras around the house. Twelve of them were fitted and connected to a giant computer screen in one of the bedrooms. She was very happy.

“I don’t even open the balcony door after six pm. I can see everything from inside. “

“What if a visitor comes?”

“ I just pretend that I am not at home. I have told the watchman to say the same thing. I don’t mind visitors in the daytime.”

A couple of days later she woke up because of a noise at eleven pm. She went to the next room and switched on the computer screen. A scary man with a peaked cap on his head had climbed up to the camera and was trying to cut the wire. Another camera showed the watchman snoring gently near the gate. The dog was sleeping at his feet. She called her son in Germany, ”There  is a thief cutting the camera wires.”

“Call the police.” He said.

“They are worse than thieves.” She replied.

“Then call the security agency, “ said the son.

The woman who ran the agency did not pick up. After a few minutes she called me. I took my watchman and the one from the neighbour’s house and went there. When we reached there we saw him leap over the wall and disappear.

The security lady apologized profusely and offered to replace the watchman. My friend decided that a known thief was better than an unknown one and opted to give the watchman another chance..

A few weeks later she heard a noise again. It was like deja vu.

Once bitten twice shy. She crept on the floor without putting on lights till she reached the camera room. She switched on the screen. The leering squint eyed watchman had removed every stitch of clothing from his body. Like the king in the “emperor’s  new clothes, he moved from camera to camera posing and parading. 

My friend crept back into bed.

She called the security agency the next day. (By this time she realized that the CEO did not respond at night!).

“ I need some to come and look at the video recording from my cameras,” she told her,” it seems to be showing television programs.”

The lady protested, “that is not possible.!”

Finally she agreed to sent someone and a young man came over.

“You look at it, “ said my friend,” I will get you some coffee.”

From downstairs she  heard him calling his office. After a lot of shouting on his side, another watchman arrived.

“Madam” he said,” I am vey sorry for what happened. We have found a replacement.”

“I hope this one is not a flasher!”

All this was too much for my friend’s son. He came to India, wound up the house and took his mother back to Germany.

As for me, I am looking for a home for a nine month old Doberman.