The horoscope lady

The Horoscope Lady

I had a very interesting patient, a lady who was a marriage broker. She had a very high success rate with arranged marriages and alliances for her particular community. She was not computer literate, but she stored volumes of information in longhand in alphabetically arranged notebooks. Marriages also require matching horoscopes. She had that little detail sewn up too. Her husband was a pandit who specialized in numerology and horoscopes. She never had a problem with horoscopes that did not match!

Over the years I encountered many couples, local products of her profitable business.

One couple came because they had been married for two years . They had no children and she  did not menstruate at all for months on end. As she sat on the examination table, I could not but help notice her hairstyle. It was an old-fashioned 70's beehive like the film star Sadhana had, with her hair pulled on her head in a bumpy layer.

 Itouched it, only to find it was  not  really her  hair at all. She had a bony conical steeple head (from birth ) smaller than average. She just covered it with hair. She was also mentally challenged.

"Did you not notice this?" I asked her husband.

" She told me it was always like this."

It probably was. It turned out she has microcepahly (mld) steeple head seizures----.

Another lady was an engineer with a good job. She married a 10 std (I suspect, failed candidate). The photograph he sent for the prospective alliance had him standing leaning on a Swift car with a cell phone to his ear.  He claimed he was exporting leather goods. Later it turned out he had no job, no income no car---. The only belonging was the cell phone.

He expected his wife to run the house, pay for everything and cook him delicious meals "just like mummy."

I asked her "How could you do this? Did the horoscopes in these cases really match?"

"I always match it for  my client. The girl may be lacking intelligence but what a good match it for her! She has found a caretaker for the rest of her life! She is my client. Not him."

"What if he divorces her?"

"I doubt he will,' said the horoscope lady, "In that family they do not divorce. Second wife yes. Divorce no."

I was shocked. "Won't she be ill-treated by the second wife?"

"No," said the lady confidently, "his horoscope shows only one wife."

"What about the poor engineer?"

"He is my client. His life is made. He doesn't have to do anything now, no work at all. It is her fate."

The horoscope lady herself had no children. She adopted a girl who grew up and went to college. She managed a really good alliance for her. A normal looking lawyer with plenty of property to his name.

"How about your daughter's horoscope? How did they agree? You don't know her time or place of birth!"

"What about it? The horoscope  has to be good! How else did she get picked up from the orphanage , educated in a good English medium school, go to college and get jewels! How can it possibly be bad? So I wrote a good one for her. She is a Lakshmi and a bhagyavathi!"

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