Dentures Priests and Murders

We have a very efficient and dedicated parish priest. He came home one day for a house visit. He found my father lying on the sofa reading a murder mystery.

“Where is your family? “ asked the priest.

“No one is here,” replied my father, my daughter and son-in- law have gone to work.”

“You are alone?”

“Not really, I would like to be, but there are people around all the time, there are domestics to take care of me.” He leaned forward, “they are a nuisance. They sneak to my daughter.” He sat up to complain.

My father bit on some nuts a week ago and cracked his dentures in half. He was unwilling to go to hospital so he told one of the domestics to buy some Fevicol. Then he painstakingly stuck the dentures together and put it back in his mouth.  When I reached home the domestic came creepily close to me and started whispering.

“What is it? “ I asked , nervous about his proximity.

The Fevicol story was revealed.

I told my father ,”you cannot stick dentures with Fevicol. I am fixing an appointment with the dentist tomorrow.”

He protested, “on TV they said you can stick anything with Fevicol. The advertisement is quite funny.”

“You can’t believe everything you see on TV. They advertises 2 minute poisonous noodles and Pan Masala!”

He is now being taken for dental appointments.

The priest was silent.

“We  have a very good senior citizen group. They are all around your age. “

“I have crossed 90,” said my father.

“In that case you will be senior most member. We meet twice a month in the evening.”

My father asked,  “do you play bridge at these meetings.”

“No “ said the priest.

“A few hands of rummy perhaps?”

“NO” said the priest looking around for escape, “we pray and meditate and have refreshments.”

“Gin? “ asked my father , his eyes lighting up.

“NO” said the priest “coffee,  tea, a few biscuits and cake. Many members are diabetic and some don’t have teeth.” He quickly corrected himself. “They have dentures.”

“I’ll pass” said my father I will pray by myself and meditate on these murders. He indicated a novel. “I always try to figure out who it is before I reach the  end,. I face a lot of temptation to look at the last page in the process.“

The priest beat a hasty retreat. He has not come since.