aquatic antics

Aquatic Antics
“Ma,” said my daughter, ‘there is a master’s swim meet in Chennai. You stand a very good chance of winning.”
“But I can’t swim fast,” I protested.
“Don’t worry, half the people your age cannot even make it across the pool.” She paused for effect, “it is a 50 meter pool”.
The regular pool I swam in was only 20 meters. I could do a hundred non stop laps, but as a leisurely medley. Plus, I just could not do underwater turns. My aged vestibular apparatus acted up if I tried. I often wound up facing sideways.
“I can’t turn.”
My daughter said ,’People my age can’t turn. Don’t worry.”
I had run out of excuses. On the fateful day we went to Chennai’s aquatic complex in Velacherry. The pool was 50 meters long fairly opaque with a few feathers floating inside. We disrobed and entered. They had emptied a few buckets of chlorine into it. At least no bacteria could survive!
Many “masters” had turned up. There was a 72 year old gentlemen for 400 meters (4 lengths) freestyle. He was the only one in that category. He kicked off from the side as he could not dive. Everyone waited and waited patiently as he slowly inched across the pool
The coordinator hissed to the umpire, “ we are running late. He will take ages. “
The umpire said’ Start the next race in the other lanes.”
“What about him?”
“Let him continue. He won’t even realize.”
Two more races were completed before the old man got out of the pool. He received a standing ovation.
The newly married woman had about a kilo of bangles on each arm.
“Madam” said the coordinator, “those will weigh you down”.
“ I don’t care” she said “I waited thirty five years for my parents to find me a husband. I don’t want to remove my bangles now!”
As the race started it became very clear that she was swimming with “resistance weights.” She grunted and puffed and lagged further behind. She finished 30 seconds behind everyone else and sank to the bottom. They put in a bamboo pole to help her climb out.
At the prize distribution as a veterans name was announced for the first prize she came forward to collect her medal.
“Madam” said the coordinator, “you already have your medal around your neck.”
“That is my husbands medal. You didn’t give it to him so I took it from the side --over there”. She pointed to a pile of medals. “He wanted one.”
At the conclusion of the prize distribution the coordinator announced, “ the nationals are in Bangalore in December. All those who qualified are welcome to attend.” He looked at the motley group of senior citizens. “Please please make sure a relative accompanies you!”
Dr. Gita Mathai
The writer is a paediatrician with a family practice at Vellore.
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