weight loss

One of my patients was really happy around 25 years ago, when his parents after searching high and low, far and wide, found him a "suitable girl." He showed me her photograph. She looked like a little pumpkin balanced on two drumsticks with a small potato head.
"Very nice ," I said politely.
Despite her weight, they had no problem procreating, and she rapidly produced two children.
The problem was her was that her weight crept up with every pregnancy. She started her married life at 4 ft 11 inches and 78 kilos . Every year she increased by 2 kilos. This is not really much, but, finally, 25 years later she was 108 kilos.
She did not walk, she rolled along with under her voluminous garments like she had wheels.
"You need to lose weight," I said.
"Yes," said her husband enthusiastically. "The bed moves when she turns at night. I can't sleep."
She was not so convinced. "I am not so fat am I?"
I gave her a diet to follow and exercise.
A month later they were back. She had put on another 2 kilos.
"What happened to my diet and exercise?"I asked.
Arguments and counterarguments ensued.
"He won't walk  with me! How can I walk alone?"
I didn't really see why not. So I suggested a figure of 8 walking on the terrace.
"She won't get up," he said. "She walks slowly. I bump into her on the terrace."
"I will walk if you buy a treadmill and place it in front of the television."
He spend 50000 and bought her a state of the art treadmill.
They were back a month later. She was now 112 kilos.
He shouted, "she doesn't use the treadmill to walk. She dries  the clothes on it. She is too lazy to even walk to the terrace."
What happened to all the love?
"I could have bought a rope to dry clothes for 200," he shouted angrily.
We seemed to have reached an impasse.
"You have to motivate her," I told him.
They turned up a month later. She had lost 4 kilos.
"Fantastic, " I said,"how did this miracle occur?"
She simpered, "He promised me a sovereign of gold for every kilo. I am planning to lose 10 kilos."
They turned up a month later. She had a heavy chain around her neck and a pendant like a saucer. She was beaming.
"Doctor, today I am going to celebrate by eating a samosa."
"I don't think it is a good idea," I said.
I saw them in the supermarket four months later. She looked plumper than ever. The chain was missing.
"Where is your chain?" I asked.
"I put on all the weight and 2 kilos extra. He took the chain and returned it to the shop-----"
http://velloretimes.blogspot.in/
                    

making a tv serial

The owner of a local TV channel had been talking about making a serial for the last few months. It was going to be low budget production. He was going to act in it, one of his brothers was going to be the cameraman and the other was in charge of lighting. He was hoping to rake in money with the advertising revenue.
The story?
All about the travails of love in the time of the Coronavirus.
There was just a small hitch. Vellore is a small and conservative town. He was just unable to get two women to star as the Corona lovers.
"I wish this was Chennai! I would have been inundated with girls wanting to star in the serial. They might even have paid me!"
"Do you want them to pay  you for the privilege of acting?" I asked puzzled.
"That was my original idea." He said, "but now I am willing to pay them".
He finally found a young and pretty girl. Her diction was not too good. Her facial expressions left a great deal to the imagination. Other than contorting her face for anger, laughter and tears the same way she seemed to have no expressions. She also had a lag period.  After delivering the lines deadpan she changed her expression. Still, something was better than nothing.
Halfway through the first practice, her father turned up.
"She can't act on TV."
"But I want to be an actress," protested the potential heroine.
"You can't,' said the father " I am trying to arrange a marriage for you. How will it look if you are in love with someone else?"
The director protested, "she is not in love with anyone. It is acting."
He pulled her out of the room. She was barely able to collect her belongings.
The next girl was really good. She looked seductive and rolled her eyes and pouted her lips.
Halfway through the shoot a thin bespectacled man entered. He even had a concave chest.
"Come home immediately," he shouted, at the girl. "How dare you?" He turned angrily to the director. "She can act only if I am the hero."
The entire suspenseful romantic storyline was fast deteriorating into  a farce. He was not hero material. He looked like a wimpy nerd.
Then a middle-aged man turned up.
"We are not auditioning for the male roles," said the director.
"I am not here for the role. I am from XXX matrimonial site. This will be very good exposure for potential young men,."
"I want a woman," said the director, "it is a female role."
"I can't do anything," said the man," None of the girls who have registered want to act."
Just as the director was getting desperate,
Another woman turned up for the role. She was older and chubby.
" I have two children, " she said."I love to act"
She stroked the director's arm. He jumped back two feet.
Maybe with lighting and makeup, they could make her look the part?
"Perhaps your husband would like to come and watch?" asked the director hopefully, staying well out of reach.
"Oh no," She said "I am free because he is stuck in Noida. He doesn't like all this".  She rolled her eyes upward, "Thank you  Coronavirus!"

http://velloretimes.blogspot.in/