shooting for silambam

The entire Silambam class was asked to assemble at the foot of a mountain around 35 kilometres out of Vellore for a promotional shoot. We assembled there and were confronted with 200 steep steps.

"The filming is at the top of the stairs."

The Average age of my class is 9 years, so they charged up the mountain waving their weapons and yelling all the way. The master leapt up along with them.

Apparently, there was a temple at the top. A few barefoot devotees who were trying to reach the top to pray flattened themselves at the sides of the stairs.

Spears, deer antlers, knives and swords made their way past them.

My leg would not allow me to climb 200 steps without side railings, so I ascended in my car on a long and winding road.

There were monkeys at the top threatening devotees and stealing their fruit offerings. They fled at the sight of the Silambam army.

We put on quite a show for the locals. Even the priest came out to have a look. There was a stream running alongside. One Silambam student managed to drop his stick into it and wanted to wade in to pull it out. The current was fast-flowing, he was controlled and stick sped away downstream.

"Are your swords sharp? " asked a bystander.

As I turned around to answer him I managed to poke the master in the forehead. Blood oozed out. The crowd took ten steps  backward.

"Sorry , Sorry" I said in consternation.

"Not to worry," said he master, "the sword is not a tempered weapon unless it tastes blood-----"

Marriages are made

Marriages

Marriages in Vellore are not really made in heaven. They are arranged by a consortium composed of relatives, brokers, marriage websites, numerologists and astrologers. It is difficult to get everyone to see eye to eye.

Many difficulties can be overcome by switching from astrology to numerology, changing the spelling of the names or  adding an extra letter or two. If all else fails, the parents can always declare that they are atheists. This is accepted in this part of the world. There is even a political party with atheist ideology.

Once the marriage is fixed, the “friends” of the bridegroom have a field day. An entertainer decided to make huge plastic posters cheaply. Friends arranged  for these and plastered them from the time the wedding was fixed (engagement) till the actual date.

There were fake pre wedding shoots. The couple were posed against the sea, Mount Fuji, Cherry blossoms, temples and Porsche cars. The poses were sexy and suggestive. Sometimes he was actually carrying her.

There were 7-people at the border of the poster, the “friends”. The labelled themselves with interesting handle “black panthers, Bad Boys” etc. Many of them had partially shaven heads, purple hair , aviators and were posing provocatively with cell phones.

“How do parents allow all this?” I asked.

“Oh “ said my patient, “only the young men are real. The girls are not. They have photoshopped themselves with starlets”. Come to think of it, looking closely, I found one young man  was posing with Simran.

After the wedding the real pictures went up on posters. The girl and the boy were standing stiffly a few inches apart with garlands. Her sari was not provocative at all. She was not leaping and gyrating. She was positively obese. If he tried twirling her around or picking her up, he would either drop her or slip a disc.

I guess it is all wishful thinking!

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Talent Shows

Talent Shows

A local television channel in Chennai wanted to showcase local talent in singing , dance, music and martial arts. All the youngsters and oldies who were not good enough to make into movies (not Jackie  Chan or Priyanka Chopra) or serials were being filmed and then edited and projected.

The Silambam school in Vellore where I train decided to send a contingent. I went along with my swords and spears.

"It is good for the students. It will give them confidence. They have the district state and national level competitions coming up." said the master.

I nodded my head. I did feel that a televised program with "lights, camera, make-up" seemed to be a far cry from a hardcore martial arts and weapons competition where sticks flew in a fast and furious fashion everyone vied for gold.

On the way to Chennai, the students wanted breakfast.

"Eat only two iddlies", said the master "You have to perform."

"How can you bring us all this way and give us only iddlies?" protested one of the boys. The others joined the clamour.

"We are hungry."

"Okay eat what you want."

The kids ate parottas, puris, vadais and pongal. Energized by the high-calorie intake, they danced and sang the rest of the way to Chennai.

An exhausted bedraggled group arrived at the venue.

The stage was set up indoors with "lights, action camera."

At the trial run, a spear pierced the false ceiling and knocked off one of the lights. We were shifted outdoors into a football field. They set up the backdrops on the goal post. The sun was beating down unbearably so there was no need of lights. The makeup started coming off in streaks. There was no electricity so we had to perform without the usual melam music.

The kids lost their timing and coordination. After three backwards summersaults, one of the girls fainted and did not get up. She was carried off. After elevating her feet she recovered.

Another did rapid twisting movements with deer antlers and then quietly sank to the ground. She joined the disabled warriors on a bench.

"It is the puri and parotta, I told them not to eat it. Not to mention the dancing on the bus. "

Despite his hawk-eyed watch on the  rest of the troupe, one boy ate a quarter kilo of peanut barfi in the corner. He stepped forward and started twirling a coiled flexible sword called a sural. He lost the count (no music and all the barfi) the blade went flying (luckily no one was injured) and he quietly puked in a corner.

At this point, the sun was too much for the cameraman. He had no shade at all. We performed for 5 minutes and then sat under a tree. He had no respite. He slumped slowly to the ground.

The organizer came forward,

"This is not working. We will arrange the stage with a high ceiling and call you back another day."

We silently loaded our weapons into the bus and left.

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alumni reunion batch of 1969

My batch joined CMC Vellore in 1969, which meant that in August 2019 we had our silver jubilee reunion in Vellore. All of us were between 65 and 70 years old. Everyone had some ailment or other, a constant pricking thorn in the side, boxes of medication, one of us even carried a cane.

That did not deter us. As students, we had often shouted: "We are the best batch." We actually believed it.

We were determined to make our entertainment memorable. We hired a dance teacher and gave him several instructions.

"No balancing on one leg. No jumping. No violent twisting movements. Not more than six different steps."

The last instruction was too much for him.

"Why no more than six steps?"

"We can't remember," I said, "we are too old."

He muttered, "My grandmother is 58, and she sits in front of the TV all day."

He seemed to think we should do likewise. Perhaps carry a projector on stage?

Needless to say, he quit.

We found another teacher from the Xpress Dance Academy. He decided that teaching us was a challenge.

It really was. People were all over the world. The dance video was sent to them on Whats App.

They all lied to their teeth about practice. Some didn't even look at the video. The women did though, and most of them practised.

On the final day, the men developed right to left disorientation. Many tried to hide in the back. One did not come up on stage at all. Two of them started arguing on stage while the dance was going on, whether it was move left or right. They bumped into the adjacent woman who was doing it correctly. One man managed to reach backstage and had to dance back on again.

The dance master asked to see the video. Reluctantly I showed it to him. He started guffawing and zooming in on the bloopers.

"Can I have a copy?" He asked. "It's very nice".

I looked at him in disbelief.

"You know I run a local TV channel called Xpress TV?"

"Yes," I said.

" Sometimes We don't get enough advertisements. We need comedy clips as fillers. If you don't mind."

Fame in any form works I guess.

http://velloretimes.blogspot.in/

                    

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OT34EJq7o0

dance Studio

"I am inaugurating a new dance studio " announced the dance maser. "I will be very happy if you come."
 I agreed. I love to dance. I wanted to see the performance. Secretly, I wanted to see where I stood after a year of lessons.
It was his fourth studio. I expected a professional inauguration.
When I reached the venue, a huge banner was placed in front advertising some sort of brain improvement math program. 20 steps were leading to the entrance. There were no side railings. (Not a disabled friendly place.). I looked at the steps in consternation.
A man was leaving. "Is this the J--- mandapam?" I asked
The  man started to speak in broken Hindi. " Go up," He said, the program is there." Why he thought aI only knew Hindi I don't know.
I replied in Tamil. "What program?"
"Whatever you are looking for."
That was not much help. How did he know what I was looking for? I went up the stairs balancing precariously one set at a time. A lipsticked silk sareed vision greeted me.
"Come in," she said. Write down your name and cell number."
"I think I am in the wrong place" I protested.
"Your children will benefit from this maths program. Everyone benefits. Come in." she said.
"My children are in their forties. Your program says it is for 4-14-year-olds. I am in the wrong place."
I looked at the steps with foreboding. How was I going
Just then the dance teacher turned up.
"Come in," he said, "this is the right place."
"There is no banner for dance " I protested.
" I didn't put up a banner. I share the place with the maths people. We just have different timings."
The maths people had brought a franchisee manager from Chennai. He seemed to believe that auditory systems and microphones were defunct decorations. He yelled and screeched into the mike about how he was going to make his students geniuses in mental mathematics.
He brought three of them forward for a demo.
He gave a long list of double-digit numbers. Even I managed to add them mentally but the third s demo student did not. He did not answer a single question. He had one hand behind his back and was looking with a fixed gaze at the upper left corner of the auditorium. It was fast deteriorating into a fiasco. The Chennai manager abruptly stopped the proceedings. As the demo students turned to leave the stage one the one who did not answer any questions turned out to have a  Rubiks cube in  his
hand with which he was fidgeting all the while!
Then the dance demo started.
The children were small but good. They seemed to have the same problems I had, remembering steps, following the sequence and keeping the beat!
One of them stopped abruptly and just swayed. The master moved to a corner off stage and danced. She kept her eyes fixed on him, turned her body sideways and imitated his movements . If he stopped, she stopped.
I am pretty much the same. Once the teacher initiates the movement, I follow. Unfortunately, I keep going beyond the "8 count)" unless he indicates change of movement.
The youngsters were doing  the same. Perhaps I am not so bad after all!

The electricity board

The Electricity Board has many employees, thought the amount of work they actually do is questionable.
Many times I have seen one man atop the electricity pole while 4-5 stand around at the bottom drinking tea. It often turns out that the man on the pole is an unconfirmed temporary worker. If he falls the reimbursement is minimal.
I was paying the electricity bills online from wherever I was very efficiently online. All of a sudden this month the website refused to work. It just hung for 3 days.
I sent a man with the money to pay.
"I can't count all this money said the obese lady at the counter.
"then how can I pay?"
"Go to the bank," she said rudely, "deposit the money and then issue a check."
I went to the bank but it was past time.
"Come tomorrow," they said.
Luckily no one stole the money.
The next day was a bank holiday (2nd saturday>
We went on Monday and deposited the money.
The man went to the EB bill and presented the check.
That afternoon a pompous EB employee came to disconnect by pulling out the fuse.
I totally lost it.
"I have submitted the check."
"I can't help that " he said, "the check will take two days to clear.."
"Your website is not working."
"I can't help that. It is another department.'
"I can't help it if they find your head under my generator," I said, "who asked you to go there."
" I am not near your generator."
"You are not, I said, "but your head soon will be."
He fled on his TVS.

attacking doctors

Attacking Doctors
There have been a spate of newspaper articles , where real or imagined deficiency in medical services provided, delay in the waiting rooms and other factors have resulted in the death of patients.

Human beings respond to this with frustration and anger, often looking with disbelief at the Godly human being who let them down so badly.

The solution "Attack, Attack!"

Overcrowding and human error do not help. Nor do mute spectators.

The doctors who are attacked are inured and hospitalized. The ones who escaped smugly feel “this cannot happen to me”.
(It can and it might)

It is all very well to talk about inculcating empathy and training in human relationships as part of the already overloaded medical curriculum. I doubt it will help.

A soft answer will turn away wrath, only if there is time to give it!

There is another practical solution to this Catch-22 situation.

People who learn martial arts are physically fit, mentally alert, slow to anger, in control of their emotions and quick to react. Their stance and responses are swift and SCARY.

This is often enough.

Training in Krav Maga, karate, Kung Fu and silambam will incorporate all these traits.

Remember age is no bar to learning martial arts.
The look, confident walk and reaction of the medical professional will deter would be assailants. (Speaking from practical experience, having stoically and staunckly stood my ground a couple of times).

A well articulated loud “Hai, ” with a warrior stance usually stops would be assailants in their tracks.

A couple of years of training and you will know how to use the nearest article as a weapon, stand your ground and take on 5-6 attackers ( even armed with cricket bats) provided they do not have guns. You need to hold your ground till help arrives.

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statins

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No one wants to have a stroke or a heart attack and, certainly, no one wants to die of it. Doctors prescribe medications belonging to the “statin” group to patients at risk of an attack or stroke. Statins, taken regularly and long term, reduce the risk of heart attack by 54 per cent and stroke by 48 per cent. If aspirin is taken along with statins, the risk reduces even further. Unfortunately, there is a lot of medical misinformation on social media about statins, which makes people worry if taking statins is safe. If you have been prescribed these medications, you probably need them.

Statins act on the liver by blocking an enzyme responsible for synthesising cholesterol. Excess cholesterol in the blood precipitates in arteries, causing a build-up of plaque. This inflames, damages and narrows the blood vessels. Eventually, it can lead to hardened, non-pliable arteries, susceptible to clot formation and complete blockage. The actual clot is formed by platelets aggregating on cholesterol plaques. Blocked blood vessels cause heart attack and stroke. Aspirin prevents the aggregation of platelets and acts synergistically with statins.

Triglycerides (TGL) are a type of lipid that circulates in the blood. They are obtained from food. They store unused calories, which can later be used for energy. Constant overeating elevates TGL levels. That contributes to inflammation and plaque formation.

The lipid profile can be checked in the blood. The total cholesterol should be below 200 mg/dL or 5.2 mmol/L. The normal values of triglycerides are less than 150mg/dL, low-density lipoprotein (LDL) under 130 mg/dL, or 3.4 mmol/L, HDL is between 40-50 mg/dL or 1.0-1.3 mmol/L for men and between 50-59 mg/dl 1.3-1.5 mmol/L for women. Medication can help correct the lipid profile, but they are an adjuvant to lifestyle changes.

To keep a normal profile:

• The BMI (weight divided by height in metre squared) needs to be as close to 23 as possible. The waist should be 35 inches or less in women and 40 inches or less in men. This can be achieved with a low-fat diet (500ml of oil per family member per month) and consuming 1,500-2,000 calories a day (depending on activity level).
• Fast foods containing preservatives and transfats and oily fried items should be avoided.
• Exposure to cigarette smoke (either active or passive) is dangerous as the chemicals in it makes the blood vessels go into spasm, especially if there are atherosclerotic plaques.
• Lifestyle diseases such as diabetes and hypertension have to be controlled.
• Stress and anger need to be countered either with meditation or yoga. Exercising regularly maintains heart and blood vessel health.

Statins correct the lipid profile and have to be taken all your life. They should not be discontinued without a doctor’s permission. Once discontinued, the lipid profile becomes abnormal again. Red yeast rice, psyllium, fenugreek and fish oil can help lower cholesterol levels. They can help lower the dose.

Statins have been found to have other incidental benefits. They reduce glaucoma, are anti-inflammatory and stabilise the lining of blood vessels so that plaques are less likely to rupture. They also make pulmonary embolism and deep vein thrombosis less likely.

Statins have been vilified on the Internet and social media, often with unsubstantiated, unscientific claims. A few people do have side effects such as headache, nausea, diarrhoea and muscle and joint pain. In many, the symptoms disappear with prolonged use or if another statin (there are several available) is substituted. If very high doses are prescribed, side effects such as a worsening of diabetes, damage to muscle cells or the liver do occur but rarely.

The beneficial effects of statins, however, far outweigh the risks. The writer is a paediatrician with a family practice at Vellore and author of Staying Healthy in Modern India. If you have any questions on health issues, please write to yourhealthgm@yahoo.co.in

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