Prison for prisoners
The police outpost is just outside the gates to the mental hospital. This makes it very convenient to report missing sedated doped patients who have wandered off while their caretakers slept or went to the toilet. (Here the psychiatrists believe in an open system and do not lock up the patients). It also means that morning and evening, you can find them wandering around the medical college campus.
One morning at 4:45 am, I was running with my black Labrador in moonlit darkness near the mental hospital when a group of men charged at me. The front runner was an unshaven unkempt adult male totally unclothed, as naked as the day he was born. He was being pursued by a khakhi clad lathi wielding group with a powerful torch. The rear was brought up by a potbellied inspector on a microscopic TVS bike, his paunch jiggling up and down like a well set gelatin mould.
The naked man saw the dog.
“Help me! Save me” he shouted.
I ran faster towards him to do the needful.
“Help!” he turned around and ran back to the khakhi crowd.
They grabbed him, biffed him one over the ear for good measure and led him away.
The potbellied inspector, quite exhausted by his bike ride, paused resting on the handlebars.
“Excuse me” I said “Was that a mental patient?”
“Oh no” he said, “that was a man arrested for murder. Land dispute. He just hacked his brother to death.”
“What happened to his clothes?”
“Madam” he said, “you don’t understand these things. In the police station we only have a small lock up. It is barely big enough for your dog.’’
“So?” I asked.
“Today we had 10 arrests in this murder case. So we locked up their clothes instead.”
“And the prisoners?’’
“Madam, naked men will not run out on to the road. I figured this out some time ago. Besides, we will transfer them in the morning”.
“What about women?” I asked curiously.
“We hardly ever arrest women. If we do we just tie them to a chair. With their own clothes.”
An effective efficient travesty of human rights!
gitamathai@gmail.com
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
wedding invitations
Going for a Wedding
“Some things just have to be done,” said my husband, “one of us has to go to the this wedding. He held up a garish multi-coloured card with the mandatory gold Ganesh on the top.
“I can’t read it,” I said, “it is in Tamil.”
After peering at the card from all angles he said,” I have to go to Delhi, so you should go. “ I think he couldn’t read it either even though Tamil was his second language!
“Whose wedding is it?”
“ Granddaughter of a very old patient.”
I protested, “I don’t know them. They are your patients”.
“Ah “ He said ”they know you. They will feel really bad if you don’t go. ”
“Where is it?”
“Its very easy to find, a marriage hall on the by-pass road.”
I protested,” what is the name?”
“Don’t worry, you will see the lights. You can’t miss it.”
He was right. The wedding hall could be seen from far away. It was in a really well lit, festooned in garish brightly coloured running disco lights from roof to ground. The entrance had a giant dirty Goofy in attendance, shaking his plastic head from side to side. The man inside could be seen peering out through two apertures in the neck.
The bride looked like a Christmas tree, red shiny sari with crystals and sequins, smothered in gold bangles, gold chains and a large gold belt. Her neck stooped from the weight of the gold chains she was wearing. The groom had a gold rope around his neck and a similar one on his arm.
I looked around and realized that I did not know a soul. No one greeted me either. Putting on a brave front, mentally cursing my husband, I stood in line to pay my respects. I handed them the wedding present. No one smiled and it was quickly placed in a large pile behind the stage.
I decided not to stay for dinner (no one asked me any way) and started to leave. On my way out I noticed a smaller marriage hall next door, attached to the first one like a Siamese twin.
A smiling elderly gentlemen with a pink turban wound around his head (in lieu of Goofy) stood at the entrance. As soon as he saw me he did a smiling Namaste.
“Doctor” he sad, “ I was looking for you. Come in. ” He looked around. “This is my sister in law Sushila. She will look after you.”
Horrors! I had gone to the wrong wedding and given the gift to some unknowns.
“ I have to lock the car. Just give me a minute.”
I dashed back to the first wedding. The gifts were piled up behind the stage. I went around the side and fugitively picked out my gift. Clutching it to my chest I fled. No one stopped me. I made it safely next door.
I had a nice time at the real wedding. I was welcomed like a VIP. I handed over the retrieved gift, everyone smiled and insisted that I stay for dinner.
A year later a young woman came with her mother for a consultation.
“My daughter’s periods are late by a month. We came to check if she is pregnant. They looked embarrassed when they saw me.
“Don’t you remember us?” asked the mother.
“No” I said.
The girl answered accusingly,” You came to our wedding. You took one of our wedding presents and left without dinner. We have you on the video”.
Take about awkward situations! I really could not think of any way to explain that one!
“Some things just have to be done,” said my husband, “one of us has to go to the this wedding. He held up a garish multi-coloured card with the mandatory gold Ganesh on the top.
“I can’t read it,” I said, “it is in Tamil.”
After peering at the card from all angles he said,” I have to go to Delhi, so you should go. “ I think he couldn’t read it either even though Tamil was his second language!
“Whose wedding is it?”
“ Granddaughter of a very old patient.”
I protested, “I don’t know them. They are your patients”.
“Ah “ He said ”they know you. They will feel really bad if you don’t go. ”
“Where is it?”
“Its very easy to find, a marriage hall on the by-pass road.”
I protested,” what is the name?”
“Don’t worry, you will see the lights. You can’t miss it.”
He was right. The wedding hall could be seen from far away. It was in a really well lit, festooned in garish brightly coloured running disco lights from roof to ground. The entrance had a giant dirty Goofy in attendance, shaking his plastic head from side to side. The man inside could be seen peering out through two apertures in the neck.
The bride looked like a Christmas tree, red shiny sari with crystals and sequins, smothered in gold bangles, gold chains and a large gold belt. Her neck stooped from the weight of the gold chains she was wearing. The groom had a gold rope around his neck and a similar one on his arm.
I looked around and realized that I did not know a soul. No one greeted me either. Putting on a brave front, mentally cursing my husband, I stood in line to pay my respects. I handed them the wedding present. No one smiled and it was quickly placed in a large pile behind the stage.
I decided not to stay for dinner (no one asked me any way) and started to leave. On my way out I noticed a smaller marriage hall next door, attached to the first one like a Siamese twin.
A smiling elderly gentlemen with a pink turban wound around his head (in lieu of Goofy) stood at the entrance. As soon as he saw me he did a smiling Namaste.
“Doctor” he sad, “ I was looking for you. Come in. ” He looked around. “This is my sister in law Sushila. She will look after you.”
Horrors! I had gone to the wrong wedding and given the gift to some unknowns.
“ I have to lock the car. Just give me a minute.”
I dashed back to the first wedding. The gifts were piled up behind the stage. I went around the side and fugitively picked out my gift. Clutching it to my chest I fled. No one stopped me. I made it safely next door.
I had a nice time at the real wedding. I was welcomed like a VIP. I handed over the retrieved gift, everyone smiled and insisted that I stay for dinner.
A year later a young woman came with her mother for a consultation.
“My daughter’s periods are late by a month. We came to check if she is pregnant. They looked embarrassed when they saw me.
“Don’t you remember us?” asked the mother.
“No” I said.
The girl answered accusingly,” You came to our wedding. You took one of our wedding presents and left without dinner. We have you on the video”.
Take about awkward situations! I really could not think of any way to explain that one!
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